For Perfectionist Moms

I'm not one to dog-ear the pages of books, having been raised that this was pure sacrilege (something akin to stealing candy from a child or punting a small dog across a field), but I ran across a passage in Barbara Kingsolver's novel The Bean Treesthat really hit home with me and, sure enough, I found myself bending over the corner of that page, saving it to read again later. This little bit of dialogue comes when a mom is trying to decide whether to fight for custody of her daughter or give in and just turn her over to the state since her claim for the child is legally shaky. She didn't exactly expect to be raising a child and she isn't sure if she's up to it or the best person for the job. Now, my daughters all came to me in the traditional way but I still have my struggles with my high expectations for myself... I know that Waldorf families seem to be more prone to guilt than others! So I'm sure I am not alone. Today, for example, we had a wonderful two hour play date at the pool with some friends. I took the girls for lovely new haircuts. We had time at home to read the new library books, rest, and listen to some opera. I made potato pancakes for lunch and we had a nice sliced cold chicken breast, potato pancakes, and applesauce. The children and I did laundry and we sorted and put away a bunch of clothes that had been packed. I cleaned the loft and organized all the camping stuff up there. We went to a lasagna dinner at the church and had our final session of VBS this evening. When I got home I worked on a new color-coded system for organizing my paperwork. Still, there is a loooong list in my mind of what I didn't get done and how I "should have" spent my day. So here's the part I found so inspirational:

"You're asking yourself, Can I give this child the best possible upbringing, and keep her out of harm's way her whole life long? The answer is no, you can't. But nobody else can either."

"So what's the right thing to ask?"

"Do I want to try? [emphasis mine] Do I think it would be interesting, maybe even enjoyable in the long run, to share my life with this kid and give her my best effort and maybe, when all's said and done, end up with a good friend?"