B, B and B

Bouncy Ball
Today I am writing at a new computer set-up, having taken the machine off the dining room table (more family friendly) and put it downstairs at my new desk. Oh, yes, we've been moving things around again! Natalie, Leah and Rebecca all in new bedrooms... furniture moving all over the place. Our lives went from horrific to peaceful in one fell swoop, it was amazing. Natalie and Leah used to spend all their naptime and bedtime (until late in the night, around 11 pm) playing around in their bedrooms, sneaking out into the hallway, tapping messages to each other through the wall, talking to each other, on and on... naptime and bedtimes were nothing but me stopping what I was doing every 2 minutes -- literally -- to go ask them to be quiet and please go to sleep. HOURS and HOURS every day of fighting with my kids. Oh, I was beyond miserable. And you can't force someone to go to sleep, so it pretty much puts you in a losing position. Ditto with not being able to force someone to be quiet. You are either pleading with them or threatening them but you can't actually make them do it. So we backed ourselves into quite a corner and everyone was very unhappy. We were actually considering turning their bedroom doorknobs around so we could lock them in (which is an idea that makes me sick to my stomach, but we were desperate) but, of course, that wouldn't stop them from talking to each other. And I'm going, okay, Waldorf says they don't have willpower at this age and they are living in the moment, can't stop themselves. But I don't know what that means... I'm still supposed to parent them. They are not wild animals, they are able to be taught to be human. (Sometimes my ideas about children being in the will stage confuse me. I think I have some things wrong when it comes to parenting in a Waldorf way... I can't wait to see Barbara Dewey and ask her some of the questions I have about this stage).

Seeking help, I asked my mom and she said, when we told you to go to bed, you went to bed. Not helpful! And, thinking about this some more, my kids have never acted like this in any other sleeping arrangement we've ever had... so I don't think they are bad children, it must just be that they simply desperately wanted to be together. So Friday night I get an epiphany and go to Steve and say, maybe we are tackling this the wrong way and we should just let them be together, instead of expending tremendous amounts of energy keeping them apart (they'd never been in back-to-back bedrooms before, usually they were on separate floors). So we moved N and L together to the downstairs room where they have their own bathroom and can run around and whoop and holler without bothering a single soul. There's a concrete floor (carpeted of course) in their room so it's much better than little feet on a wooden floor making me nuts. No one is stuck down in the downstairs room alone (a reason why they each didn't like being there) and Becca is back upstairs (and she couldn't care less). That leaves us with an empty room... a guest room! We moved the TV from the downstairs living room, which had been slowly turning me into a vegetable, and put it in the guest room. No cable access, no eternal TV watching. We have movies in case Jenn wants to watch some. But no more TV for me (the kids are already off it but, in my case, we set it up so I could do exercise videos and it was slowly sucking me in). Now the kids are behaving like perfect angels. No one is getting in trouble anymore! I have a desk downstairs where my TV used to be and I am sitting on my gigantic red bouncy ball (which the physical therapist told me to sit on as much as possible -- apparently bouncing on this thing actually helps to rebuild cartilage in your back!) and blogging away. It's so strange how parenting can be... One minute you're sitting staring down the throat of a huge black monster of despair, thinking "I have no idea what to do in this situation, I am ruining my children for life, I am so miserable" and then you fix the thing that is wrong and suddenly you're relaxed and parenting is fun and easy again. Strange.


Bag Lunch
Natalie headed off this morning for her first-ever day of summer camp. Steve took her so that he can also get new tires put on the van. I got her all packed up this morning and she was soooo excited to take a bag lunch (also a first for her). She was so excited about her lunch that she could hardly eat her breakfast! It was adorable. I hope she has a really good time and I can't wait to see her at 12:30 and hear all about it.


Bean Art
Meanwhile, back in the jungle, Leah and Rebecca and I are hanging out this morning sans Natalie and I decided to get out the bag of dried beans I had been saving and have us do a dried bean collage. This is really inexpensive and super-simple. A piece of construction paper, a variety of dried beans (just get a bagged bean mix), and glue are all you need. To make it easier, I gave the kids a small paintbrush each and put the glue in an old ashtray. They had the glue between them and dipped the brushes in, put it on the paper, and chose a bean (they each had their own tray of beans -- just put the beans into an old cookie tin and pour out a selection onto the lid, when you are done, pour all the beans back into the tin and pack it away). I like to use an ashtray instead of another kind of small dish because 1) I don't care if it gets ruined and 2) they have little dips in the sides where the cigarettes used to go and those dips are perfect to rest your paintbrush in when you are not using it. The brush isn't dripping on the table and it isn't swimming in the water or paint or glue or whatever. Rebecca loved this project -- she had an absolute blast.