NVC: Black & White Thinking

In our Nonviolent Communication (NVC) lessons we are on Power 7: The Power to Navigate the Fault Zone.

The No-Fault Classroom / The Alien Lessons
Nov 18, 2023

The No-Fault Game
Dec 2, 2023

Observations vs. Thoughts
Jan 22, 2024

The Listening Circle: Activity and FREE Cards
Jan 25, 2024

The No-Fault Classroom:
Tools to Resolve Conflict & Foster Relationship Intelligence
by Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson

Many thanks to Ms. Lakota for her support in leading these lessons!

Power 7 focuses on identifying when you are in Black & White Thinking (ie. the Fault Zone). I introduced this concept with James Rumford's fun story Don't Touch My Hat!.

Where is the black & white thinking in this book? Sheriff John is insistent that he can't do keep order in the town without his 10-gallon hat. It is his most cherished possession. He absolutely HAS to have his hat at all times. But one night in the dark he grabs his wife's flower-covered fancy one on his way out the door...

We followed that lesson with some Anti-Coloring Book pages! I love Susan Striker's work. Who says that a child's role in a coloring book is just to fill in the lines someone else drew? Why can't they help draw the picture too?

On Monday Ms. Lakota is leading "Translating Shoulds into Needs" from pages 159-160 of The No-Fault Classroom. Here are a few key points from this lesson:

"Shoulds" are Anger-Producing Thoughts.

Behind every "should" thought there is a need that is important to you.

If you can stop and notice your Anger-Producing Thoughts, and translate them into needs before you believe them and your feeling temperature goes up, you can prevent conflicts.

Here are more picture books I've found that would work well with a discussion like this. If you have suggestions, let me know!

Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts
I "should" have the cool shoes.





The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein
I "should" be good at everything.

While looking through my picture books, I found one more that would be perfect for talking with your child at home about black & white thinking.

In this heartwarming story, the old lady is absolutely convinced that if she never names the shy brown puppy who comes to her gate every single day (and who she feeds every single day), she will never get attached to him.

The Old Woman Who Named Things by Cynthia Rylant

Watch out for "never," "always," and "should"!

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